Happy Father's Day
Well, this is the first Father's Day Mom is not home and in the memory care facility. Voyageur has been telling me she's been going to Mom's home and weeding, trimming the bushes (she says whacking). It feels kinda strange, hollow. Last year I talked with Mom and we laughed about Dad's silliness, exotic plants, and reminisced about his strength and resolve. These days I'm a little nervous talking about Dad, not sure if he's alive, somewhere in the building :)
The majority of Mom's confabulations I can roll with, my dad being alive is hard. My heart is in my throat every time. I feel as though if he were alive, all of this would be ok. Mom wouldn't be sick - somehow he would have found that magical doctor who would have a cure. It always seemed that Dad could fix anything. And then he got throat cancer and died six weeks after diagnosis. Shocked us all and that was when my Mom's symptoms actually began. We didn't really notice, thought it was grief and took us another 5 years until diagnosis for Mom's dementia.
And now we are almost 4 years after her initial diagnosis of fronto-temporal dementia. The diagnosis of Alzheimer's on top of FTD came a year after. Witnessing my mom progress in dementia has been heartbreaking. And heart opening. This woman refuses to let dementia take her out quietly. She has come out fighting, acquiesced where needed and always reminds us of what's important - love, family & friends and laughter.
Sounds kinda sappy, but hell my dad was pretty sappy - when love is the foundation, you can get through anything. It's taken Mom to have dementia for me to see her strength, determination and perseverance. I think short of finding Mom a magical doctor, Voyageur and I have done everything Dad would have done for Mom. Happy Father's Day Dad!
Both he and Mom so love Motown and Marvin Gaye/Tammi Terrell songs!
The majority of Mom's confabulations I can roll with, my dad being alive is hard. My heart is in my throat every time. I feel as though if he were alive, all of this would be ok. Mom wouldn't be sick - somehow he would have found that magical doctor who would have a cure. It always seemed that Dad could fix anything. And then he got throat cancer and died six weeks after diagnosis. Shocked us all and that was when my Mom's symptoms actually began. We didn't really notice, thought it was grief and took us another 5 years until diagnosis for Mom's dementia.
And now we are almost 4 years after her initial diagnosis of fronto-temporal dementia. The diagnosis of Alzheimer's on top of FTD came a year after. Witnessing my mom progress in dementia has been heartbreaking. And heart opening. This woman refuses to let dementia take her out quietly. She has come out fighting, acquiesced where needed and always reminds us of what's important - love, family & friends and laughter.
Sounds kinda sappy, but hell my dad was pretty sappy - when love is the foundation, you can get through anything. It's taken Mom to have dementia for me to see her strength, determination and perseverance. I think short of finding Mom a magical doctor, Voyageur and I have done everything Dad would have done for Mom. Happy Father's Day Dad!
Both he and Mom so love Motown and Marvin Gaye/Tammi Terrell songs!