New Eyes
I have decided I always need to have 3 hours sleep the night before my flight of the day I come home for a visit. I'm so tired, I'm just happy to be back. The progression of Mom's symptoms doesn't bother me, I only got slightly agitated at the craft store with Voyageur and Mom (I would rather hang at a bookstore if it's gotta be retail) and I enjoyed (gasp) the chaoticness of what is called grocery shopping.
Being gone longer than I anticipated between visits has given me new eyes as to how I see my mom. She is not the symptoms of dementia. She may ask Voyageur and myself 50 times if we want to go to lunch (I swear it was 50!) after we just ate dinner; she may be confused about where I live, what city, what state; and she may be excited about where she believes I'm moving (I'm not moving anywhere) because it will be next to her daughter (who is me). The first thing she said to me when she saw me today was 'I can't believe how tall you are!' Those who know me will laugh, because I'm small in stature.
But what comes through again and again, is absolute love. There are no barriers, no judgment, just love. She said many times today she is glad for how we enjoy each others' company and create good times.
The plane ride home I was sad for the loss of who my mom was. Then I had dinner with Mom and Voyageur. Mom said something silly and we laughed hysterically. Mom said countless times today how glad she was to have her daughters with her. Tonight I had to leave for a little while and when I got back, Mom kept trying to feed me dinner. Instead we made popcorn (with extra butter) and had ice cream. Mom's right - getting old isn't for sissies :)
Back at ya Voyageur!
Being gone longer than I anticipated between visits has given me new eyes as to how I see my mom. She is not the symptoms of dementia. She may ask Voyageur and myself 50 times if we want to go to lunch (I swear it was 50!) after we just ate dinner; she may be confused about where I live, what city, what state; and she may be excited about where she believes I'm moving (I'm not moving anywhere) because it will be next to her daughter (who is me). The first thing she said to me when she saw me today was 'I can't believe how tall you are!' Those who know me will laugh, because I'm small in stature.
But what comes through again and again, is absolute love. There are no barriers, no judgment, just love. She said many times today she is glad for how we enjoy each others' company and create good times.
The plane ride home I was sad for the loss of who my mom was. Then I had dinner with Mom and Voyageur. Mom said something silly and we laughed hysterically. Mom said countless times today how glad she was to have her daughters with her. Tonight I had to leave for a little while and when I got back, Mom kept trying to feed me dinner. Instead we made popcorn (with extra butter) and had ice cream. Mom's right - getting old isn't for sissies :)
Back at ya Voyageur!