Driving Miss Daisy

I thought about titling this post 'Driving Miss Daisy, Driving Me Crazy' and realized it is my head and non-acceptance at times that drives me crazy.  Normally when I come home, I wake up before Mom and go to an early morning yoga class.  However, this last month I was working 7 day weeks (yes, I am not supposed to be doing that) and came home exhausted and am now sleeping in in the morning.

Which means I walk downstairs and Mom is fixing me breakfast and then ready to head out the door.  I'm still waking up when she wants to run her errands.  First up - the grocery store (yes, we were just there), where she needs to buy laundry detergent, 2 more bottles of soda, and 3 gallons ice cream - yes 3!  The only item I am able to talk her out of is toilet paper.  Later in the day, the Salvation Army (after I practice yoga and have lunch with a friend) where she decides she needs to buy sunglasses that make her look like the Terminator - I swap her for the more stylish ones I bought (gotta love the Salvation Army - $5 sunglasses!).

And then Mom decides she wants to go on a picnic.  I'm more exhausted spending time with her, running her around then working 12 hour days.  Mom and I have a slight argument, my patience and happy space I was in when I first arrived gone, I forget she has dementia.  She sounds like my mom and aggravates me like her too.  Voyageur tells me to treat her like a Make a Wish kid.  Yes, renegotiate where possible, but give her what she wants.  She's sick.  Why do I forget that when I'm with her?  I call Voyageur and have her come with us on our picnic. We have a great time, laughing and reminiscing.

I realized later why I'm edgy.  Mom has notes everywhere that says Dad died 6-27-04.  She sees him all the time and becomes upset when she cannot find him.  When she realizes he's dead, she's sad (of course) but no longer stressed and relieved he is not in pain.  I miss my dad...alot.  He was my go to person.

So, my mantra has become 'breathe, grieve, accept, love and experience it all'.  Last night Mom and I walked around the block and then sat on the front porch (eating ice cream of course!) and talked.  I recorded our conversation as I don't know when she will no longer know who I am.  Our time together is precious.  This morning I woke up to go to an 8:30am yoga class and have better perspective.  Today we may see a movie and I will probably take her to her favorite craft store.

Enjoy the day off Voyageur! Get your butt writing again :)