Surprise! You're Not Just Caring For A Person!

How to do this? A broom...really?

This winter has been long and difficult, particularly for Mom.  Spring and her garden could not come and bloom fast enough for her - literally.  She loves
her garden, always has.  It was her saving grace when Dad passed away.

Mom's illness has accelerated in the winter over the last two years.  This year it brought more hallucinations, delusions, agitation and anxiety. Mom eventually wandered in early March.  She could no longer live alone and I knew it was time to look for a care facility.



My sister and I found a great dementia/Alzheimer's care place for her. We no longer have to worry about Mom.  But now, there's the house. The house that Mom had increasing difficulty taking care of.

 RUT ROH.

Dreamer and I dealt with the inside of the house a couple of months ago (so I thought).  Now Spring has sprung.  With lots of rain, new growth on the plants and shrubs...and thousands of Maple tree helicopter seeds all over the back patio, side of the house, driveway.  AND WEEDS - arg.  Though I have something of a black thumb, I can weed at least lol!  Now it's time for the outdoor work to begin! She has a lawn/gutter cleaning service, that's helpful.

 It felt weird to be working outside at Mom's without her.  Yet gardening is simple, meditative, necessary and an act of love for me right now.  Easier than releasing random objects from the grip of a large yarn tangle that's for sure.  I miss her being in her own house, it feels out of sorts, reminds me that she's sick.  I miss my Mom.  The Mom that knew the name of every plant and leaf in her gardens, practically knew their Latin names too.   I miss picking tomatoes and hydrangeas with her.  Right now, having her live somewhere else feels like she's half gone, like she's slipped farther away from me.  Logically I know she hasn't. She still has a wicked sense of humor and snark.  She's not as sick as she could be. My heart just doesn't understand that yet.  I feel like I'm six years old, vulnerable without her close by. 

So.   There is gardening to be done at the house.  I will honor her love of all things green and blooming by taking care of them for her.

Love you Mom,
Voyageur

P.S. Dreamer:

There was bit of mold in the fridge - ugh!  Apparently when you clean it out, you have to leave the doors open to let air circulate.  Who knew?  If you were here, I'd have made you clean it :)

I wield a leaf blower like a rock star!