50,000 Shades of Grey
Alzheimer's is a shitty shitty disease. Mom has declined quite rapidly over the past few weeks. A couple of weeks ago she took a midnight stroll. The cops were called by a neighbor (Mom rang there bell and for whatever reason had a piece of mail with her - so they knew who she was and where she belonged - she kept wandering) and she was found within about half an hour after she left the house. Since then, there has been round the clock care. Voyageur has spent quite a few overnights, and I had a quick dash back for a few days.
What's almost worse than the disease is the mountain of paperwork, the ridiculous red tape, and the exorbitant costs of health care. If we were to have round the clock in home health care, it would cost $12,000 a MONTH or $144,000 a YEAR. So, let's figure this out. The average person who ends up with Alzheimer's lives about 10 years after diagnosis. We got Mom diagnosed little over 3 years ago, so let's say she has another 7 years. You would need to have a little over $1 million. That is ONLY for in home health care. Doesn't include food, cost of mortgage (if there is still money owed), utilities, gas to get you around, shopping money, and anything else you would need.
Oh, and by the way, the nest egg you put away, you already started using some of that money. Cause now you are 72 years old.
We are very lucky Mom has long term care insurance. She started with her policy when she was in her 50s. If you don't have a policy, get one. NOW.
So, we have already been on the research phase of a memory care facility for Mom. These folks are highly trained in dementia care, have a philosophy of wanting to keep each person as independent as possible, have amazing chefs, and she will get the care she needs. Mind you, it sucks. There is no other way to say it, it seriously sucks.
It's sad. The progression is horrible. This is the thing though. People ask if she is lucid, or has lucid moments. Lucidity is NOT black or white. It's grey. MANY shades of grey. She can carry on a conversation. Tell a good joke, with timing. She can feed herself very well (shit, I spill my coffee all the time). She is quite lucid. It's just that her thoughts get jumbled. Time and space have a fluidity, but isn't that what Einstein told us?
So, that's where we have been. Taking care of Mom, finding a really awesome place for her to live, and taking care of ourselves. I think Voyageur will continue to take a break, as she needs some rest. I will write again soon.
What's almost worse than the disease is the mountain of paperwork, the ridiculous red tape, and the exorbitant costs of health care. If we were to have round the clock in home health care, it would cost $12,000 a MONTH or $144,000 a YEAR. So, let's figure this out. The average person who ends up with Alzheimer's lives about 10 years after diagnosis. We got Mom diagnosed little over 3 years ago, so let's say she has another 7 years. You would need to have a little over $1 million. That is ONLY for in home health care. Doesn't include food, cost of mortgage (if there is still money owed), utilities, gas to get you around, shopping money, and anything else you would need.
Oh, and by the way, the nest egg you put away, you already started using some of that money. Cause now you are 72 years old.
We are very lucky Mom has long term care insurance. She started with her policy when she was in her 50s. If you don't have a policy, get one. NOW.
So, we have already been on the research phase of a memory care facility for Mom. These folks are highly trained in dementia care, have a philosophy of wanting to keep each person as independent as possible, have amazing chefs, and she will get the care she needs. Mind you, it sucks. There is no other way to say it, it seriously sucks.
It's sad. The progression is horrible. This is the thing though. People ask if she is lucid, or has lucid moments. Lucidity is NOT black or white. It's grey. MANY shades of grey. She can carry on a conversation. Tell a good joke, with timing. She can feed herself very well (shit, I spill my coffee all the time). She is quite lucid. It's just that her thoughts get jumbled. Time and space have a fluidity, but isn't that what Einstein told us?
So, that's where we have been. Taking care of Mom, finding a really awesome place for her to live, and taking care of ourselves. I think Voyageur will continue to take a break, as she needs some rest. I will write again soon.