YES! And There is no I in Team!
Mom's long-term care insurance has been reinstated.....and for its full amount! So Voyageur is now back to talking with home health care to get them in there! YAY!! And there really is no I in Team - it was through the thoughtful work and follow up of Mom's attorney (conservator) and Voyageur's constant contact with her and me supporting Voyageur and Mom's friends and neighbors supporting us.
This past week has seen some ups and downs for me in terms of Mom. More often than not these days - because of the time difference - I talk with her when it's past 7pm her time. Mom's confusion and confabulation (literally making stuff up to make sense in her head) are in full force. She's able to function without a problem in her home. She just believes she recently moved there (we moved there as a family in 1976), she believes I'm in my 20s (good times, but I much more enjoy my 40s), and she's not quite sure where I'm living (ok, I've moved cross-country 3 times in 4 years, some of my friends are confused too).
The tricky piece for me is talking with her when I'm not prepared for a moment of confusion. Case in point, the other day she called me (9pm her time) we started talking normal catch up from the day stuff, and then she talks about Dad in the present tense - the entire conversation. I enter her reality and also talk about him in the present tense, but it was a long day for me (and I wasn't done working yet) and I started to choke up.
I stayed on the phone with Mom a few more minutes and then told her I needed to finish up some work and went and cried for a few minutes. Self care is the number 1 thing all caregivers of people with dementia need to do and the number 1 thing that gets neglected. I give myself time to grieve every day - grief is a process and dementia is 100% progressive and currently there is no cure. The medications on the market right now only work on 50% of all people with Alzheimer's/dementia and of those 50% the medications stop working 12-18 months after beginning dosage (and typically only work in early stages).
But I'm in incurable Pollyanna, so....I celebrate every single win we get, no matter how small. And this latest win is pretty big - without Mom's longterm care insurance, she would probably end up a ward of the state within 5 years. She and Dad invested very wisely and have a nice amount of money for retirement, but a few years of untreated dementia helped chip away some of that and unexpected costs have helped eat away a portion of it too. Now we can make sure Mom and Voyageur get the needed help, Mom stays in her home as long as possible and her retirement money will be able to last Mom's lifetime.
Incredibly grateful to our demented team :) Mom's conservator, Voyageur (primary guardian), all of my friends, Mom's friends and neighbors and Voyageur's support system.
Back at ya Voyageur - wake up :)
This past week has seen some ups and downs for me in terms of Mom. More often than not these days - because of the time difference - I talk with her when it's past 7pm her time. Mom's confusion and confabulation (literally making stuff up to make sense in her head) are in full force. She's able to function without a problem in her home. She just believes she recently moved there (we moved there as a family in 1976), she believes I'm in my 20s (good times, but I much more enjoy my 40s), and she's not quite sure where I'm living (ok, I've moved cross-country 3 times in 4 years, some of my friends are confused too).
The tricky piece for me is talking with her when I'm not prepared for a moment of confusion. Case in point, the other day she called me (9pm her time) we started talking normal catch up from the day stuff, and then she talks about Dad in the present tense - the entire conversation. I enter her reality and also talk about him in the present tense, but it was a long day for me (and I wasn't done working yet) and I started to choke up.
I stayed on the phone with Mom a few more minutes and then told her I needed to finish up some work and went and cried for a few minutes. Self care is the number 1 thing all caregivers of people with dementia need to do and the number 1 thing that gets neglected. I give myself time to grieve every day - grief is a process and dementia is 100% progressive and currently there is no cure. The medications on the market right now only work on 50% of all people with Alzheimer's/dementia and of those 50% the medications stop working 12-18 months after beginning dosage (and typically only work in early stages).
But I'm in incurable Pollyanna, so....I celebrate every single win we get, no matter how small. And this latest win is pretty big - without Mom's longterm care insurance, she would probably end up a ward of the state within 5 years. She and Dad invested very wisely and have a nice amount of money for retirement, but a few years of untreated dementia helped chip away some of that and unexpected costs have helped eat away a portion of it too. Now we can make sure Mom and Voyageur get the needed help, Mom stays in her home as long as possible and her retirement money will be able to last Mom's lifetime.
Incredibly grateful to our demented team :) Mom's conservator, Voyageur (primary guardian), all of my friends, Mom's friends and neighbors and Voyageur's support system.
Back at ya Voyageur - wake up :)