Ebb and Flow

Ok all you long distance caregivers.  I have learned a thing or two this trip back home.  One, have a plan/schedule! It took me a few days this time to realize that - especially as Mom has progressed since the last time I was home.  Nothing crazy, just progression.  So I thought I wanted to spend as much time as possible with Mom this time home.  Mistake!  If I don't take care of myself first (which is yoga with my peeps), I'm toast with Mom.  Kinda like when they tell you the safety features of flying - to put your air mask on first before putting on someone elses.

Two - decide how much time to spend with your dementia loved one before you need a break.  I figured my max time with Mom is four hours.  Then I need to go see a friend, take a yoga class, take a walk or run by myself - just a break from the dementia.  It's overwhelming.  The other day she mistook me a few times for Voyageur.  I think the first time it happened I gasped.  New symptoms or stories are overwhelming, surprising.

Life ebbs and flows - like breathing.  Inhales and exhales.  I think that's why I love yoga so much.  The breath is what stabilizes a pose.  The breath is what stabilizes me in life.  Especially when I'm with Mom.  Every day she has asked what day I'm leaving, what time.  Where do I live, what city, what state.  I want to spend time with her - be in the moment with her.  It's tricky when she asks when I'm leaving, what day, what time.  And then I remember all I need to do is breathe, answer her question and point out some pretty flowers, or make a silly inside joke.  Ebb and flow.

Back at ya Voyageur.
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Lawdy Miss Daisey