Give And Take

Mom is well aware of how much time and effort I put into helping her and hanging out with her.  She appreciates it and we DO have fun, but it has upset a delicate social balance a bit.  She keeps trying to give or buy me things.  I work to keep those things small and modest.  She's on a fixed budget and I want her to have enough for herself.  If we grocery shop, she wants to buy me groceries too - generous but I don't want to short her of money for HER groceries.  It's a friendly, teasing back and forth negotiation that my sister is really unaccustomed to and has no juice to distract mom into staying within the sneaky budget we've set for weekly groceries.  Sorry 'bout that Dreamer....

So...mom lets me "shop" for yarn at her house.  She has TONS of it, all over the house lol. It works well for us; it's fun.  If she sees I've had a tough day, she tries to feed me.  I keep that small too, baked goods, not essentials.

We seem to have loving, caregiving scrimmages; sweet but a bit tiring.  On some days I get teary about the whole thing.  I think she does too when I leave.  The balance of the relationship has changed a bit, she depends on me more all the while knowing that I have a life apart from her, a husband and a job.

But love and life is a give and take.  It ebbs and flows between us, carrying us both.  Even when she pulls my hair gently in the store when I tell her no thanks, I have some at home mom.