Still Around
I am really tired of hearing Alzheimer's called 'the long goodbye'. I haven't said goodbye to my mom. Perhaps to pieces of how I perceived who she was. But don't all of us change over time? Drop certain behaviors, pick up others. Even likes of music, types of drink change over time. Relationships dissolve because one or the other changes and its no longer the same.
Mom might not be the woman I expect her to be, but she's still her. Her voice is the same, we talk about food, weather, my work, my friends. And she asks me not to forget her. I won't. Ever. She's in my DNA. I am passionate about social justice, fairness, being compassionate because of her.
The waves of sadness, frustration, anger and the myriad of emotions can be overwhelming. There's no roadmap for dealing with the variety of emotions and one of the hardest things is people think because you are not in the midst of caregiving, its easier. Well, it's not. Just different, but not easier, not at all. As a long-distance caregiver, we suffer from guilt and anxiety probably the most. Guilt of not getting back to see her, help with the packing and selling of the home. Anxiety about is Mom really ok and that nagging question in the back of my head -- is this my fate?
Luckily Twitter chats have saved the day. Yesterday there was a chat in the #alzchat tag and just connecting with other folks who are going through similar stuff and good suggestions of self-care, etc. For some folks, support groups are the way to go, but not for me, not right now. For me, right now, support comes through friends, Angry Birds, Twitter and of course Voyageur.
I'm not saying goodbye yet to my mom. And even when she does pass from this earth, it will just be til we meet again. She's still around.
Back at ya Voyageur
Mom might not be the woman I expect her to be, but she's still her. Her voice is the same, we talk about food, weather, my work, my friends. And she asks me not to forget her. I won't. Ever. She's in my DNA. I am passionate about social justice, fairness, being compassionate because of her.
The waves of sadness, frustration, anger and the myriad of emotions can be overwhelming. There's no roadmap for dealing with the variety of emotions and one of the hardest things is people think because you are not in the midst of caregiving, its easier. Well, it's not. Just different, but not easier, not at all. As a long-distance caregiver, we suffer from guilt and anxiety probably the most. Guilt of not getting back to see her, help with the packing and selling of the home. Anxiety about is Mom really ok and that nagging question in the back of my head -- is this my fate?
Luckily Twitter chats have saved the day. Yesterday there was a chat in the #alzchat tag and just connecting with other folks who are going through similar stuff and good suggestions of self-care, etc. For some folks, support groups are the way to go, but not for me, not right now. For me, right now, support comes through friends, Angry Birds, Twitter and of course Voyageur.
I'm not saying goodbye yet to my mom. And even when she does pass from this earth, it will just be til we meet again. She's still around.
Back at ya Voyageur