Me Time: Thwarted and Teary
So I set up today for Me Time; I'd spent Friday evening and a large chunk of Saturday with her, and there are some things I really need to do for me not to mention spend time with my husband.
Mom calls three times today to ask me to lunch and to go to her favorite craft store.
Then the elephant in the room question: when can I get my driver's license back? On the phone?!
I can't do this on the phone! Oh crap I think to myself, tears streaming down my cheek.
We had been going with the "get the cataracts taken care of first and then we'll appeal" line. Then the family "indignity" occurred with her car and a soulless not nuclear family member. Now she doesn't have a car and we're about to take care of the other cataract and she's itching for another car and to get out of the house whenever she pleases.
As her guardian I simply cannot let her drive, she's too sick.
As her daughter - I'm heartsick.
I told her I can't talk about it on the phone. Here's what I couldn't say:
It's too cold/unfeeling. I can't be there to hug her through the crushing disappointment and the back track explanation that she's sick and it's not safe. She graciously let me off the hook. She knew I was crying. Lamely I told her we'd talk about it next time I see her. That's not an answer for her. It's not the way I want to handle this. I DON'T want to do this, but I have to tell her.
I somehow have to find the words and gently hold her heart in my hands,
Voyageur