It's the Holiday Season
We were brought up with Christmas being more about presence rather than presents. Being extra kind to each other. Dad called it 'Kringling'. Doing something nice for another family member without them knowing it's you. Doing their chores. Leaving a small gift in a special place. My kringle this year for my sis is to have her groceries delivered. Shhhhh :)
The last couple of years have been challenging with Mom, last year definitely, this year, so much more. Mom keeps thinking it's Christmas, or Christmas is in a couple of days, need to buy groceries for family coming over. A couple of years ago, she would get a little wonky, and then the stress of the holidays or whatever was pressing in that moment would pass, and she would bounce back. Then the bounce became a gentle spring and now....there is no bounce back.
Mom's memory is failing her more and more. She knows it. Today she asked me 4 times the date and then she told me she wrote 'today' on the day. And then she said she does that for each day, but forgets to cross off the day as it passes and gets confused. She wants to send me a Christmas package, asks my address multiple times, writes it down a variety of places, forgets where she wrote it and still the package is not sent.
Christmas now is quite bittersweet. I still love all the pieces of it, but now it's sprinkled with sadness and loss, knowing that Mom will not bounce back from recent memory hiccups. All the more reason to cherish each conversation, create tomorrow's memories and eat tons of Christmas cookies!
Back at ya Voyageur.