Such A Bad Ass
Then I feel like the age I am in this picture, crumple in a heap in the couch and want everything to be the way it was before she got sick. Sometimes Wonder Woman goes western an stuff. Sometimes I'm just a 5 year old.
Sometimes I'm just rung out. That was this weekend.
I had a long, difficult week for a variety of reasons and I slept all day Saturday...until noon on Sunday actually. Phone off, take care of myself like I have a cold - SLEPT. Damn, it felt really good too.
There were at least three calls from mom on my cell phone voice mail. I felt like I abandoned her. I shook it off, got dressed and took her out to shop for yarn and groceries. I actually missed her, lil twerp. I made dinner for her, trying to get her to eat salmon...she liked it. Went home to my husband, had a good cry.
Cried tonight when I returned home from work too. Damned holidays with their mixed emotions. I want to be a bad ass, be able to handle everything well - organized and on top of ALL of her care. And inside, sometimes I'm five and I want my mom. Nothing brings that out more for me than Christmas. Damn it.
Who says a Sheriff doesn't cry every now and then? Wonder Woman has a tissue in one of those cuffs....I know it.
Please pass a frosted Christmas cookie ;)
Voyageur