Meet The Villagers
As you take care of a loved one with dementia/AD you slowly (or more often quickly) blend and fold their life into yours. The villagers of my sister's "It Takes A Village" blog started for us with mom's bank branch managers and her financial planner, then her long time attorney who drew up her will, trusts, etc.
The village quickly grew to include:
*mom's best friends
*some family members at first
*her new doctors at the Geriatric Clinic, her General Practitioners (not very helpful for a stretch at first)
*her dentist
*her eye doctors (try using eye drops to heal after surgery when you don't remember you need eye drops).
*her hairstylist
*newspaper delivery person/mail person
*lawncare guy/snow removal guy
*handyman
*neighbors old and new (next door neighbors call her the evening before trash pick up day to remind her to set the garbage out)
*3rd party conservator/tax preparer/accountant to hold the finances together
*members of mom's church
*even employees at the grocery store to help her find items
*employees at her favorite nursery.
All these people noticed a change in her, wondered if something was wrong and wanted to know what they could do to help. They were VERY relieved and helpful when we clued them in.
A special word about family members and the village of support. You might not get family members support.
Each family is different, and individuals handle news of a dementia diagnosis in their own way. And while we wish every family member would be supportive, it's not always the case. You may need to brace yourselves - just saying....
Some people go through strong denial, may even seek to discredit the diagnosis. Some people may not know what to do or say not only to the loved one, but to anyone regarding the diagnosis. Some people fall away while others step up. Alzheimer's/Dementia is a scary diagnosis and family members often worry that they will get it too.
And sometimes those in denial come around and really step up. Our key is to educate people, be consistent about love, and try even in the most difficult moments to be patient. However, we also understand this is not the time to be a door mat.
People can and do strange things surrounding this disease, it's just something you need to be prepared to work around.
We work creatively and collaboratively with our villagers, not only for mom, but for ourselves. We need a break to breathe, tend to our own lives, feed our own souls.
Wishing you all the support you need, and the best villagers possible,
Voyageur
The village quickly grew to include:
*mom's best friends
*some family members at first
*her new doctors at the Geriatric Clinic, her General Practitioners (not very helpful for a stretch at first)
*her dentist
*her eye doctors (try using eye drops to heal after surgery when you don't remember you need eye drops).
*her hairstylist
*newspaper delivery person/mail person
*lawncare guy/snow removal guy
*handyman
*neighbors old and new (next door neighbors call her the evening before trash pick up day to remind her to set the garbage out)
*3rd party conservator/tax preparer/accountant to hold the finances together
*members of mom's church
*even employees at the grocery store to help her find items
*employees at her favorite nursery.
All these people noticed a change in her, wondered if something was wrong and wanted to know what they could do to help. They were VERY relieved and helpful when we clued them in.
A special word about family members and the village of support. You might not get family members support.
Each family is different, and individuals handle news of a dementia diagnosis in their own way. And while we wish every family member would be supportive, it's not always the case. You may need to brace yourselves - just saying....
Some people go through strong denial, may even seek to discredit the diagnosis. Some people may not know what to do or say not only to the loved one, but to anyone regarding the diagnosis. Some people fall away while others step up. Alzheimer's/Dementia is a scary diagnosis and family members often worry that they will get it too.
And sometimes those in denial come around and really step up. Our key is to educate people, be consistent about love, and try even in the most difficult moments to be patient. However, we also understand this is not the time to be a door mat.
People can and do strange things surrounding this disease, it's just something you need to be prepared to work around.
We work creatively and collaboratively with our villagers, not only for mom, but for ourselves. We need a break to breathe, tend to our own lives, feed our own souls.
Wishing you all the support you need, and the best villagers possible,
Voyageur